My Plan..

In an attempt to not compare every single day to what I was doing in 2011 (also known as the best year EVER) I am walking this fine line of holding back being okay with change and doubtful restlessness on if I should change something.

I've counted the miles I have put in on foot by this time last year and the miles I have put in this year and they are within 5 miles of each other. It would have been exact, but I had promised to do Alyx's pictures and then on Sunday the weather was bad and I ended up helping Tabitha with her car. The reality is that I am actually doing more (miles) than last year because this year I have also added in bike riding.

Something just feels off. Reading "Born to Run" probably exasperated this because I am suddenly feeling like I should be at least up to 30 miles a weekend. I want to be though. There are weekends when all I want to do is get out there at 7 am and not come back until the sun is creeping down, just to see how far I could go and where I would end up.

I have an actual race coming up in 9 weeks and even though I put in the time on the trails, I don't even feel like I am ready for it. It's my first 10k. Yes, I know...small time, but for me it's the farthest time race i've been in. I'm not doing it for the time though, that means nothing to me. I am doing it because I know myself well enough to say that if I didn't have something to train for, I would probably not train as much as my body needs. Knowing what I want and getting it or putting in the work is a whole different thing.

I want to be an ultra runner. Not because it sounds good, but because that means that I get to be on those trails for a long time and I could go for hours and not give up. Saying that out loud makes me feel selfish inside. Giving up time and focus for something that is for no one but ME.
What a conflict and only one I am going to be able to wrestle with if it's something I am going to do.

The plan I put together for the 10k in 9 weeks is a hybrid of Couch to 5k and a random 10k schedule someone yah-hoo put together (me). It was actually kind of fun. Sticking to the basics of rest and run and slowly adding miles, putting together the goals and then the weekend miles was a good way to refocus. It's also going to make the weekend runs a little more structured. This way I can get other people to join me out on the trails and I won't feel bad that I am not putting in the big miles that I feel I should already be doing. After May's race I will switch my focus to the long run weekends and adding in bike riding ever other weekend.

My goal by the end of the year is a 25 mile Saturday. *crossing fingers for no injury or fears*